dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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