If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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