You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I know her cup size but not her name....
tell me about the fingering
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