Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
