wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
