NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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