There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
