You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
