you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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