The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Congratulations! We have a period
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