well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
