Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
