I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
