Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
