Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
