My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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