Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i drank out of a bidet.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who died my cat blue again?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
