as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
