I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
