my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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