No stitches, just platelets and will power
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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