i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
