Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You dont lie about slip and slides
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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