Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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