I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
