no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
