Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
