she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
