glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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