I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Congratulations! We have a period
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