i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
