dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
