Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
