kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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