I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
