if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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