we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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