My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
