Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
