I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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