Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
