omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so let's talk penis.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
