I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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