youre lurking in front of me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
