Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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