so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
