Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
third nipple confirmed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
