Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
