I want to walk on stilts...naked
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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