$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
