He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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