it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
