Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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