Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fuck appropriateness.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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